Monday, November 19, 2007

Is it wabi-sabi to be sick?

Last week my husband went away on his first post-baby business trip (it was to a conference). I was scared, notably so, and very apprehensive about being alone for the first time since I'd become a mama.

We brainstormed ways to alleviate my aloneness: hire a graduate student to come help out in the afternoons, was my husband's idea. Mine was to invite myself to stay in New Orleans with my friends who just happened to be going there during the time my husband would be away. It was a great plan... until my friend's husband decided to cancel the trip. The morning we were supposed to leave.

With no advanced planning for the graduate student to come help me out (and, as it turns out, without her phone number at hand), I was again nervous, but I thought it would be OK.... until I woke up with the flu the next day.

Four days. I had four days, no babysitter in sight (some last minute finagling did manage to get me a few hours on Saturday, the last day my husband was gone) and the flu. I felt at the lowest point of the low. Where could I go from there? No where but up, thankfully.

I managed to gather my own inner resources. My son and I watched movies during the day (something I have been adamant about not letting my toddler do, or at least not often). We went to places where I could rest and he could still be a little active (I overdid it at least one day, though.) I ordered takeout and ate leftovers and frozen foods.

I made phone calls and tried to gather emotional support (but that didn't work out so well).

In the end, I survived. My internet friends proved their worth in gold and helped me through my trials. But I think the real lesson was that in letting myself be wabi sabi -- so imperfect, to watch DVDs all day!!! -- and not feeling guilty about it, I was true to my own self and to my son.

2 comments:

Heidi said...

I am in awe of your bravery. When I've been sick or my back flared up, the Trusty Grandparents have been only too happy to whisk the Birdy away.

I support wabi-sabi, real mom DVD decision:) I'm still waffling with my TV worries, but I'll probably post about it soon.

I really hope you're feeling better, and w00t for the boobs that you didn't have a really sick baby to deal with on top of your flu.

Lexie said...

Still sick :(((

Oh my gosh, did I wish I had trusty grandparents nearby right now!