Sunday, July 6, 2008

Sex Positive Parenting

The baby's in a naked phase, which is adorable but somewhat exasperating as we aren't making much potty progress. At the in-laws today she stripped down and announced "Nake!" and climbed up on my lap. I snuggled her for a few minutes before I noticed she was totally, diaperless-nude. I plopped her down to try to wrestle her back into her diaper and she started playing with her yoni. Her Papaw sternly said, "No, dirty! Stop!" and I attempted a recovery, laughing, "Not polite with company, Bird." She has been very touchy explore-y lately. I just ask her to move her fingers out of the way when I'm diapering her and sometimes tell her that's a private thing. I feel vaguely ridiculous discussing masturbation etiquette with a two year old, but she's a smart cookie.

Hearing the sex-negative bullshit from the grandparents was annoying. I doubt it'll have much impact really, so I'm thinking that's a battle I'll not pick. The idea of the debate about sex positivity with the pretty fundie grandies is just not going to make it to my to-do list. I do, however, have a fun time with Shane's and my banter that goes something like "dating, boys... waiting on porch with shotgun, blah blah.. hahah" countered with "oh, she's probably gay anyway, and I'll have fewer birth control worries in that case, blah blah blah."

The zOMG-don't-touch-your-own-body wiggins reminded me, though, of a small web project I've been wanting to do. Carly Milne's sexuality memoir "Sexography" put me in mind of doing some little awareness about positive sexuality. I had thought of designing some cute "sex positive blogger" badges to share, then I decided it might be cool to start a web ring. That's in the works. I can't finish a fucking project I have so many things in the air, but I'm gonna go ahead and add another ball to the juggling mix. Why not?

And a note about the nicknames- I love parents who use medically correct terms with their kids- it not only respects the child's intelligence and fosters a healthy attitude, it's also a potential safety issue as far as sexual abuse goes. However, I also think nicknames are cute (hence Boo, Birdy, Princess Pea, etc...) and the word yoni comes chock full of positivity, identifying sex with divinity and all. Also, the wholeness of female genitalia gets lost in "vagina," the way we use it to encompass all external bits as well. When she's a little older she can learn the real words, and mama can enjoy the cutesy Goddess stuff while she's tiny.

1 comment:

Lexie said...

Word. I would probably jump ALL up in that if someone told Rems his penis was dirty! Not unless it has poop on it, it's not!

Girly bits are all so much more nicknameable, anyway. Penis and balls (OK, balls is slang, but everyone uses it) is just simpler, ya know?

I'm a fan of vulva over yoni, but I think I just like the "a" at the end ;-)