Blogger FAIL!

Here we have a beautiful, awesome blog. And two mamas who are totally into the idea of imperfect parenting... and then there is me, who is just TOTAL FAIL when it comes to maintaining more than one blog. (I also let my son's blog go to seed...)

January resolution: I am going to reaffirm my commitment to this blog. I shall post at least once a week. I shall fail and bounce back!

This week's imperfection: I could not let my husband handle one night on his own. For fuck's sake! I have been the go-to night parent for so fucking long, and I couldn't just try to see if my husband could handle one night? I am afraid of becoming my mother, afraid of abandoning my child, afraid of being abandoned all over again...

My triumph is that I am considering going away for a weekend by myself. I haven't committed to it (we're still maybe going as a family) but I think that going on my own would be a Very Good Thing. Totally wabi sabi because I will be terrified at the huge change, but... I need it. And Rems could use a lot more daddy time.

Fear of Flying...

"I can't stand to fly, I'm not that naive..."

Yeah, I have always had a healthy fear of airplanes. Are we really meant to be traveling above the Earth in aging boxes of steel? My fears are not bad enough to keep me from flying or even to paralyze me, but I do spend a lot of time on board praying/ reciting mantras.

With a toddler flying as a lap child, our upcoming trip is bound to include me praying for a lot more than just safety, though. Sanity, for starters. Sleep, for another. A free seat that we can use to strap our child into his own car seat would be the trifecta of perfect.

A mama can dream.

And bring Elmo. Lots and lots of Elmo.