Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Imperfect Podcasting: Night Issues
I recorded the only-second-ever Wabi Sabi Mamas podcast, mostly for Thordora:) I talk about night weaning success-in-progress and older munchkins' waking problems.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
hormonal ravages + no sleep + no support = very, very grumpy mama
Last night was our third night in a row of very, very little sleep. Molly would fall asleep fine, then wake crying for me less than an hour later, and until the morning alarm, she nursed damn near constantly. She'd fall asleep and I'd latch her off and roll her over and then in 15-30 minutes she'd demand to nurse again. She isn't hitting a deep extended sleep until about 5:30 a.m. The seven o'clock alarm has turned into an 8 o'clock one so I get at least a little rest.
It's so frustrating, but more frustrating is feeling pressure about bitching. A sleepy mama has got to bitch. When I let loose on friends and family, I hear how the baby should be sleeping through the night and she is using me as a pacifier. (I have to contradict here: a pacifier is a substitute for a breast, not the other way around.) Or she's too old to be nursing. I feel like if I complain about her nursing habits, I'm a bad breastfeeding advocate. I have the small local group of crunchy mamas I can whine too, but there's something keeping me from feeling like one of them- none of the active core group there works. None of them have ever made me feel any animosity or condescension or whatever- but I really think that's an internal thing I have. Some hidden class issue is keeping me from really reaching out to these very sweet supportive women.
My plan is to suck it up and vent on our message group. I'm reminding myself that she does this consistently during my period and it'll pass. I'm doing the inner pep talk thing and trying to get on board with the idea that I can be a huge boobie cheerleader (um, both as in "love me some big boobies" and in the sense of supporting greatly) and still want to scream
GET this succubus child off me and let me SLEEP!
So I'm going to go andscream that email a helpmeplease email to my granola brigade and find me some support.
It's so frustrating, but more frustrating is feeling pressure about bitching. A sleepy mama has got to bitch. When I let loose on friends and family, I hear how the baby should be sleeping through the night and she is using me as a pacifier. (I have to contradict here: a pacifier is a substitute for a breast, not the other way around.) Or she's too old to be nursing. I feel like if I complain about her nursing habits, I'm a bad breastfeeding advocate. I have the small local group of crunchy mamas I can whine too, but there's something keeping me from feeling like one of them- none of the active core group there works. None of them have ever made me feel any animosity or condescension or whatever- but I really think that's an internal thing I have. Some hidden class issue is keeping me from really reaching out to these very sweet supportive women.
My plan is to suck it up and vent on our message group. I'm reminding myself that she does this consistently during my period and it'll pass. I'm doing the inner pep talk thing and trying to get on board with the idea that I can be a huge boobie cheerleader (um, both as in "love me some big boobies" and in the sense of supporting greatly) and still want to scream
GET this succubus child off me and let me SLEEP!
So I'm going to go and
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